Don’t let suicide ruin your day
Some Quad-Citians can’t tell the difference between pain and inconvenience.
The man sitting atop an arch of the Centennial Bridge July 13 threatened to jump. He stopped traffic on the bridge for a few hours. Letter writer Jessica Shafer Houk was disturbed by a caller on B100 who said the man should “jump already so we could get moving.”
Heaven forbid someone’s life crisis delay your weekend plans.
The comments under Jessica’s letter began just as callously.
BH wrote, “While it may sound insensitive, sometimes the truth hurts.”
Wanderlust_now snapped back, “Unless you were the jumper BH, you have no reason to make that comment. It’s not always 15 minutes of fame, in fact it very rarely is. Do you enjoy your fleeting 20 seconds of fame when you make these comments?”
Wanderlust’s next posts revealed why he took the comment so personally: “BH — until you lose a child through suicide, quit being rude, stupid and insensitive. It’s not the TRUTH in most cases. ... My daughter wasn’t talked down. Hopefully you don’t come home and find your child dead. It’s not a pleasant sight.”
Other commenters joined in with their own experiences with attempted suicide or with suicidal friends and family members. James wrote, “My first thought when I heard what was going on was that it was my younger brother. He has had some rough times lately and isn’t in the right frame of mind. Thankfully it wasn’t him, but it made me quit being mad at him, and I spoke to him this weekend. That split second thought really changed my outlook on that situation. Or else, I fear, I would have been one in traffic honking.”
It’s hard to understand what goes on in the mind of someone who wants to end their life. This can be frustrating, infuriating even, to those close to the individual, as James indicated. You should be thankful if the closest suicide comes to touching your life is sitting in traffic for 30 minutes while a stranger is talked down from a bridge.
Callie, whose cousin took his life, explained, “You don’t know the hurt and pain that follows a suicide and the lingering thoughts of, ‘What could I have done?’ ‘What were the warning signs?’ And most of all, ‘Why?’ ”
Clinical depression and other mental disorders can severely impact rational thought. In a recent editorial board interview, former Surgeon General Richard Carmona told me 20 percent of people in this country who need mental health care don’t get it. In some cases, it’s because of lack of access. For others, the stigma of mental illness abides.
Yolanda wrote, “Many people are still ashamed to get help, though there are hundreds of thousands that could benefit from it. Their families and friends could also. The suicidal person may not get help, but those who deal with them need some time and help to learn how to cope with them. Also how to handle things if it’s more than a cry for help and they succeed.”
In the Quad-Cities, we have several mental health resources. Jessica concluded her letter with the numbers to call. They bear repeating: In Illinois, the Robert Young Center’s Crisis Line is (309) 779-2999. In Iowa, Genesis Health System can be contacted at (563) 421-2975 24 hours, seven days a week.
Mental anguish is more than an inconvenience. To those experiencing it, it is as painful as a broken limb or crippling tumor. But it doesn’t have to be a terminal disease.
Melissa Coulter writes on the comments posted online at qctimes.com. Contact her at (563) 383-2243 or at mcoulter@qctimes.com.