On Screen / Linda Cook

Even Paul Mitchell couldn't pretty up 'Zohan'

By Linda Cook | Thursday, July 03, 2008 | () comments

Adam Sandler stars in "You Don't Mess with the Zohan." (Sony) Buy this Photo

“You Don't Mess with the Zohan"

1 star

Running time: Just a few minutes shy of two hours.

Rated: PG-13 for sexual situations, violence, foul language and nudity.

When I think of movies that have a "locker-room mentality" I think of movies like "You Don't Mess With the Zohan," another sleazy, dirty-minded offering from Adam Sandler.

Zohan (Sandler) is a kind of Israeli superhero/James Bond who is tired of fighting terrorists. He longs to go to New York where he can work as a hair stylist for Paul Mitchell, and lead a peaceful life eating hummus and drinking Fizzy Bubbly.

During a fight with his nemesis, a villain known as The Phantom (John Turturro), Zohan appears to have been killed. Now’s his chance to leave behind his life as a crime fighter and start anew. He boards a plane to New York, stowing away with a couple of friendly shaggy dogs named Scrappy and Coco.

He finds employment with a beautiful Palestinian hairstylist named Dalia (Emmanuelle Chriqui, "Waiting"), who is skeptical of his talent. "Scrappy Coco" isn’t just an excellent stylist, she discovers. He also brings in hundreds of older women for whom he provides “special services” in the back room.

The unfortunate additions to Sandler’s entourage are his real-life cohorts Nick Swardson and Rob Schneider, neither of whom are funny here.

Sander and his company have turned out worse films, certainly. This one just isn’t very interesting. To spice things up, he throws in cameo after cameo, and I have to admit I did look forward to who was going to appear on screen next. George Takei, John McEnroe, an engaging Mariah Carey and Barry Livingston, as well as Kevin Nealon, are among the surprises.

Still, cameo appearances do not a movie make. The ick quotient is high, but the comedy quotient is lacking.