Balance key to parental passion

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By Craig DeVrieze | Saturday, July 12, 2008 |

THE world would be a lesser place had Earl Woods taken a less aggressive approach to raising a Tiger.

There is little doubt about that.

There also can be little doubt that for every Tiger Woods, every Venus and Serena Williams, every Peyton and Eli Manning, there likely are thousands upon thousands upon thousands of Todd Marinoviches and Jennifer Capriatis — troubled, angry, burned-out washouts left wondering what became of their childhoods.

Do the latter tales result from poorly intentioned parents?

Or are they simply the product of bad parents?

Rick and Christine Keys absolutely are not the latter. They are the farthest thing from the harsh and overbearing Stefano Capriati, and furthermore, there is little reason to think their intentions are misguided.

The parents of Rock Island-born tennis prodigy Madison Keys simply want to give their child every chance to be all she can be.

The extreme sacrifices they have made in that mission — relocating their family to Florida while the father continues to work in Rock Island, spending more money than they care to count for travel and instruction — simply is what they choose to do.

The way they see it, they do not have another choice.

When Madison Keys announced at age 7 that her dream was to play tennis professionally some day, the Keys made her prove her passion over a three-year period, first by keeping her schoolwork in top order, then by diligently and daily practicing tennis at home in the Quad-Cities.

She proved it. Emphatically.

“We had to make her stop almost every time,’’ her mother said of her practice sessions. “It wasn’t that you couldn’t get her there. You couldn’t get her to go home.’’

For athlete after athlete, parent after parent, the story seems much the same.

Nine-year-old Gavin Gulash is an unabashed rink rat who likely will follow the lead of Davenport high schooler Randi Jensen, who ultimately left home to further her hockey skills and resumé. Randi attends a high school hockey academy. Gavin might be on pace for a junior hockey career.

Garry Gulash, the former Mallard, is not forcing his passion for pucks on his son. He and his wife, Cheryl, simply are accomodating their young son’s dream.

Thousands upon thousands of Q-C parents are doing likewise in countless instances and on smaller scales.

It simply is too easy to foist the label of pushy parent on loving and attentive mothers and fathers who are working to make the children’s lives as full as possible.

And yet and still ...

Jeff Seitz very certainly was loving and attentive when he opted to move his family to Florida in 2003 to help further the skating careers of son Andy and daughter Lindsey.

With a few hiccups, including the dissolution of the sibling’s partnership, that story turned out well, as Andy went on to international junior skating stardom, while his sister skated regionally and still fully enjoyed her high school years.

Jeff Seitz, however, occasionally wonders if he did not allow his dreams and passions to color his dedication to the dreams of his children. And he cautions all athletic parents to check their motivations before proceeding full speed.

In hindsight, he said, “I don’t think I would probably have been as driven as a parent to push the kids. Today, I have a different perspective on the sport in that only a very few people really make it. You have to take that into consideration and don’t get consumed or overwhelmed by any sport.

“Put everything in perspective and don’t get too wrapped up in that stuff.’’

Even Earl Woods knew that the key to a solid golf swing also is the key to raising a well-adjusted child.

That would be balance.

Craig DeVrieze can be contacted at (563) 333-2610 or cdevrieze@qctimes.com. Comment on this story at qctimes.com.