Some parents conscious of kids' potential burnout

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By Don Doxsie | Tuesday, July 1, 2008 2:57 PM CDT | () comments

Gavin Gulash, 9, son of Garry Gulash, a former player for the Quad-City Mallards, takes a drink of water during a break in his workout at the Quad-City Sports Center. Garry Gulash admits his father pushed him hard, which helped him develop some restraint with Gavin. (John Schultz/QUAD-CITY TIMES) Buy this Photo

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One of the dangers of getting kids so heavily involved in sports so early is that they’ll tire of the sports by their teenage years.

It certainly doesn’t happen to every athlete. Tiger Woods began playing golf at the age of 2 and shot 48 for nine holes when he was 3. At the age of 32, there is no evidence of burnout or decline, although he will miss the rest of this golf season with a knee injury.

But it’s a concern for many parents whose children have become immersed in sports at a very young age.

Youth golf instructor Kevin DeNike said the key is that the drive to excel has to come from the kids. Too much pushing from the parents is a blueprint for burnout.

“You have kids who enjoy it and want to work hard at it, but some get pushed too hard,” he said. “They start playing and they get to be pretty good when they’re 8 or 9 and they get to be prodigies when they’re 12 or 13. By 15, the last thing they want to do is touch a golf club.

“A lot of parents think their kid is the next Tiger Woods. That’s their retirement plan.”

He pointed to the Payne family of Davenport as an example of doing it the right way. Ken and Judy Payne have two sons — Spencer, 13, and Marshall, 9 — who are rising stars on the local golf scene, but they are careful to let the boys determine how much they do.

“We’re not pushy, but we do believe in letting our children follow their dreams,” Judy Payne said. “My one son has the personality that if he wants to do something, he does it 150 times. Last year at Red Hawk, he stood out in the rain working on the putting green while I sat inside and watched him, yelling for him to come inside.”

Former Quad-City Mallards player Garry Gulash admitted that his own father pushed and prodded him for decades, always demanding more, always telling him he could be better.

“My dad was always in the stands, always yelling,” he said. “I could always hear him, even when I got to the Mallards. I found myself 29 years old listening for Dad’s voice.”

He said that has helped him develop some restraint with his son, Gavin, who is a 9-year-old hockey prodigy.

“As a parent it’s tough,” he added. “You don’t want to push them too much. You’ve got to let them be a kid. But with (Gavin) it’s 24/7. He’s nonstop. There are times when it’s hard for me to pull myself back, but you’ve got to give him the option of what he wants to do.”

Daniel Bedell, whose twin sons, Ian and Connor, are budding baseball stars at the age of 8, admitted to having similar feelings.

“It’s a legitimate concern,” he said. “All I can tell you is that when it’s time to go to the ballpark, they want to go. When it’s not time, they’re begging me to go. How it will play out later, I really don’t know. I’m just trying to let the process run at the pace they want it to run.

“I almost feel like I’m a pusher, and I’m just feeding the addict.”

Don Doxsie can be contacted at (563) 383-2280 or ddoxsie@qctimes.com.