Appleby’s family starting support group

Font Size:

By Dustin Lemmon | Wednesday, August 20, 2008 9:03 PM CDT | () comments

Trudy Appleby (FILE PHOTO/1996) Buy this Photo

The passage of 12 years hasn’t brought Trudy Appleby’s mother any closure, and she hopes a new support group will help her and others deal with lingering emotional pain.

Trudy was 11 when she disappeared from the family’s Moline home Aug. 21, 1996, and was never seen again by her family. Her disappearance has never been explained.

“I still sit on the fence about my daughter,” Brenda Gordon said. “She may not be with us anymore. I don’t know what happened.”

Trudy was last seen getting into a silver or gray SUV with an unknown man in his 20s, who was white with curly brown hair.

Gordon knows there are others in the community in a similar situation where someone they know was lost or killed without an explanation or criminal prosecution.

She and pastor Brian Fischer of First Baptist Church in East Moline will host their first support group at 7 p.m. Sept. 24 at the church. An annual candlelight vigil in Trudy’s honor will start at 7:30 p.m. today at the church.

Gordon said the support group will be the first of its kind in the Quad-Cities, and she hopes anyone interested will call the church at (309) 755-2409.

“I go to plenty of (support) groups, but they can’t say they’ve gone through what I’ve gone through,” Gordon explained. “To start my own support group would hopefully be beneficial.”

Ann Eddleman, Trudy’s grandmother, thinks it’s a good idea.

“I think the group would help get some people with missing kids some closure,” she said.

Gordon noted that it doesn’t matter how old or recent the disappearance or death is and those who attend don’t have to be related to the victim. They could be a neighbor, co-worker or other associate.

“It could be a place for those who’ve never had a chance to talk about their situation,” Gordon said. “There is a wide variety of needs even within a family itself.”

Those who attend also don’t have to talk, Gordon said. They can listen to others.

Fischer said they are still looking for a professional to counsel the group. They plan to bring in speakers who can talk to the group about grief and related issues. After the first meeting, they will have a better idea of what the participants are looking for, he said.

“There are other people that might be in similar situations with crimes that are unresolved,” he said.

Gordon said the group can also be proactive in the community by promoting child identification cards.

Stephen Draminski, a licensed clinical professional counselor for Robert Young Center of Community Mental Health, said support groups help people deal with new emotions they haven’t experienced before.

“Having other people around that have gone through those similar experiences can provide empathy for the family,” Draminski said. “That sort of stuff is often therapeutic. The family can see this person knows what I’m talking about. They know what I’m going through.”

Dustin Lemmon can be contacted at (563) 383-2493 or dlemmon@qctimes.com.

What: Family support group

When: 7 p.m. Sept. 24.

Where: First Baptist Church, 4021 9 1/2 St., East Moline.

Also: Annual candlelight vigil in Trudy Appleby’s honor at 7:30 p.m. today at the church.

Contact: Call the church at (309) 755-2409.