On Screen / Linda Cook

'Star Wars' fans: Prepare to disengage

By Linda Cook | Friday, August 29, 2008 | () comments

REVIEW: I’m not sure why someone had the idea of turning the “Star Wars” franchise into a television series or why they thought it was a good idea to put one of the episodes up on the big screen before the series actually starts.

Regardless, here is “Star Wars: The Clone Wars” in all its questionable glory, a few weeks before it hits the small screen as a regular show.

The plot is every bit as strange as the appearance of the characters. It starts out like we all want it to: “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.” The Jedis are up against the Separatists and their droid army. A young Obi-Wan Kenobi (voice of James Arnold Taylor) and an even younger Anakin Skywalker (the voice of Matt Lanter) are asked by Yoda to retrieve the infant son of Jabba the Hutt.

It seems the Huttlet whose name is Rotta (yuck, what a terrible name, even for a character the others refer to as “Stinky”) has been kidnapped. This is a touchy situation. Jabba would be delighted if the Jedis returned the little one — so much so that he might open trade routes to the Jedis.

Anakin has a sidekick now: Ahsoka Tano (Ashley Eckstein), a female who is a Padawan learner. Anakin and Ahsoka try to find the tyke, but they are led into a trap that puts the baby and everyone else at risk. In fact, the Jedis may be held responsible if the baby isn’t returned safely.

Anakin would be much happier by himself, but Yoda has assigned the smart, overzealous girl to him so he can be her mentor. Of course, the two butt heads almost immediately and begin to call each other “Snips” and “Skyguy.” (You can figure out which one is which.) Ahsoka believes she can think and fight her way out of battles and help Anakin, too, if he’d just listen to her. Anakin thinks that Ahsoka takes too many risks and makes brash decisions.

The battle scenes are enjoyable — even magnificent — at times. But the characters are silly (and I know this sounds odd being applied to an animated film) and cartoonish as well. They’re juvenile, obviously aimed at the junior set and not those of us who have grown up and lived in a “Star Wars” culture for decades.

This is like seeing someone perform “Star Wars” with marionettes (speaking of which, “Fireball XL5” fans will be sure to notice the similarity between Venus and Ahsoka. I think one is a descendant of the other). It’s sort of like the live-action series we’ve embraced for so long, but it’s lackluster. It panders. It tries too hard to be cutesy.

I won’t even go in to Jabba’s weird uncle, a feather-headdress-wearing Hutt with the voice of Truman Capote. And the dialogue is the stuff that would be heard on a thrown-together kiddie cartoon you might see on Saturday mornings.

This is an elongated commercial for the TV series, which may have some appeal for younger viewers. As for the rest of us, our original “Star Wars” DVDs are not so far, far away. Watch them we should.

Linda Cook reviews movies for the Quad-City Times and KWQC-TV. Contact her at lcook@qctimes.com.

“Star Wars: The Clone Wars”

Rating: 2 stars

Stars: Christopher Lee, Samuel L. Jackson, Dee Bradley Baker, Ashley Eckstein, Catherine Taber, Matt Lanter, Ashley Drane, Grey DeLisle and Anthony Daniels

Running time: 98 minutes

Director: Dave Filoni

Screenwriters: Henry Gilroy, Steven Melching and Scott Murphy, based on the characters and the universe created by George Lucas